Comedy·BAD PRESS

Pumpkin Sean Spicer Latte named year's worst drink

“For me the worst part is the aftertaste. It’s like… okay, I had to choke that down, but I got through it. Now that it’s gone, can’t it just be… gone?"
(Shutterstock / YuliiaKas)

MONCTON, NB—Step back, Horchata Almondmilk. Stand aside, Unicorn, Mermaid, and Dragon Frappuccinos. Starbucks' Pumpkin Sean Spicer Latte has been named the worst drink of 2017, and an early contender for worst concoction of the decade.

Randy Bensen, editor of Bad Brew magazine, which tracks the worst drinks of each year and season, says that just a few days after the drink's introduction, its place at the top of the list is almost guaranteed.

"I've rarely seen such an immediate and visceral reaction to a beverage," says Bensen. "At this rate there's no question that it's going to top our Yearly Yeccchs list, and it's almost a shoo-in for our Disgusting Decade charts as well. And I don't know if I'll be around, but I'd bet on it for the Century's Stinkiest Sips."

The drink, made from what initially seemed to be a mellow blond roast, has let down almost everyone who tried it, including those who hoped it might be the one respite from a tough season. Customers have been unanimous in their criticism of a drink one man simply called " a real bad cup."

"One thing I don't like about the drink is its dishonesty," says Karl Urbain, 47 of Dieppe. "You look at it, and it seems to be one thing, and then the taste is… it's not what you expected, it's not what you hoped for, it's just… really misleading."

"For me the worst part is the aftertaste," says Meaghan Smythe, 28. "It's like… okay, I choked that down, but I got through it. Yes, it was my mistake to order that drink, to engage with that drink in any way, but now that it's gone, can't it just be… gone? I never heard of it before a little while ago, I'll now forget it ever existed. But no, it sticks around, and comes back again and again."

"And then you try to escape by watching the Emmys and boom, there's an ad for the drink that made you sick. Why? Why???"

Bensen said he can't imagine Starbucks or any coffee outlet bringing back the drink in future years.

"Oh I can't see why anyone would bring it back," says Bensen. "It had its chance, but it just performed so badly. It had every opportunity in the world to make a good showing, but it let us all down. So it should just probably stay out of the limelight for a while. A long while. Until our tastebuds have healed."

Despite those strong words, at press time the Pumpkin Sean Spicer Latte was rumoured to be the official drink of this season of Dancing with the Stars.

Don't miss anything from CBC Comedy - like us on Facebook.