Manitoba

'People are dying because of it': Mom who lost daughter to overdose fights against stigma

The stigma and shame of addictions meant Mary Werba's daughter used an alias when she spoke to media about her drug use in the year before she died. Now Werba is sharing her daughter's story — including her name — as she works to help other addicts and their families.

This Substance Use and Addictions Awareness Week, Mary Werba wants other parents to know they're not alone

Stephanie Vermiere, seen in this photo submitted by her mother, spoke to the CBC in 2016 about the need for better supports for people trying to beat addiction. Last year, she died of a fentanyl overdose. (Submitted by Mary Werba)

The stigma and shame of addictions meant Mary Werba's daughter used an alias when she spoke to media about her drug use in the year before she died.

Now Werba is sharing her daughter's story — including her name — as she works to help other addicts and their families.

"That stigma holds people back," said Mary Werba. "And people are dying because of it."

Stephanie Vermiere, Werba's daughter, spoke out in 2016 to fight for more services to help people with addictions, but she used the alias Amanda.

Vermiere died of a fentanyl overdose in October 2017, when she was 29. Since then, Werba said she's seen how shame and lack of understanding affects families who have lost loved ones to addictions.

Earlier this year, Werba started a support group called Healing Hearts for parents in her position. The group meets every third Thursday at the Winnipeg Regional Health Authority Access Centre at 975 Henderson Highway.

They understand each other in a way no other support network could, she said.

"The stories that we share often relate to the worry, the loss of that child that we had and the dreams that we had for the future," she said.

"The grandchildren, the weddings — you know, the normal life that we always thought that we'd have when we had these children."

'I don't want to be a statistic'

Vermiere spoke to CBC twice in 2016 about the importance of supporting people with addictions. In both stories, her identity was concealed and she was referred to only as Amanda.

At that time, Vermiere was in recovery and moving away from using.

"I have lost too many friends and I don't want to be a statistic," she told CBC at the time.

Werba said her daughter's journey was fragile. She teetered on the edge. Her family did everything they could to support her, distract her and keep her well.

Mary Werba holds a photo of her daughter Stephanie as a baby. Werba says her daughter fought hard against her addiction before she died of a fentanyl overdose last year. (Samantha Samson/CBC)

Werba recalled the terrible physical cravings and hideous effects of withdrawal.

"I know that there were times when she was just a shining star, when she was able to live her life well in recovery," Werba said.

"But then, I think the mental health issues, the anxiety would kick in and she went back into it."

Stigma 'a huge piece'

Werba wants to see a change in the way society views and treats drugs and addiction. Beating the stigma and shame is part of that.

"Before we can get everybody on board with safe injection sites and treatment centres and the like, I think we need to have a broader understanding of addiction and the people that need these supports, and to understand that there is that huge piece of shame and the stigma."

If you want more information about Werba's support group, you can email her at healingheartswpg@gmail.com. 

With files from Samantha Samson, Marcy Markusa and CBC Manitoba's Information Radio