Going to an outdoor concert? Make sure you know how to behave

Recently one night, I was sitting in Assiniboine Park, listening to the Winnipeg Symphony Orchestra and looking forward to the next piece, a selection from Gilbert and Sullivan's operetta The Gondoliers — until the unwelcome sound of a whining child met my ears. 

As I tried vainly to block out the child's voice, I earnestly wished that even in a relaxed setting such as the Lyric Theatre, audience members could understand and follow the societal norms of concert etiquette.

In regular concert halls and theatres, the cost of tickets discourages people from taking small children with them, except for events specifically intended for the young. 

Unfortunately, the price also often prohibits other people from attending cultural events.

A free concert in the park is a good opportunity for parents to introduce their children to classical music or for others to enjoy an inexpensive evening's entertainment.

The informality and affordability of a free concert might cause people to forget that attending any public event calls for consideration of others' comfort and convenience. 

The child and her parents, for example, sat quite close to the front, with a large crowd to the right and left of them.

My companions and I had found spots at the edge but close to the front, in consideration of my mother's hearing difficulties. There, I thought, we would be able to enjoy a pleasant concert, free from interruptions.

Social norms still apply

MusicFest Canada lists several aspects of concert etiquette, designed to avoid distracting musicians and breaking their concentration, including refraining from talking or leaving the room in the middle of a piece. 

Psychologists talk of social norms as the unwritten rules that guide actions and allow people of different backgrounds and temperaments to live in communities with some degree of harmony.

Those norms are the reason why public drunkenness and other types of unruly behaviour are considered unacceptable and why people form lines in banks and grocery stores.

I believe these social norms tend to be more relaxed for children than for adults, and they vary from one situation to another.

Normally, an event in a park is considerably less formal than a similar one at a concert hall or theatre would be.

People can dress casually and feel free to come and go as they please to a far greater extent than they otherwise could.

Still, social norms should still apply even in such an informal situation, especially since free events are the only times when some people can attend professional performances. 

Perhaps keeping young children at the edge of the crowd could fulfil the guidelines in that case.

The dog owners were careful and responsible, while the parents were far less so.

Other cases are different.

One time, I was watching a movie in the park when a family sitting in front of me decided to leave before the end of the show. It seemed to take forever for the family members to whisper to each other before standing up and slowly gathering their belongings, effectively keeping me from seeing the movie's conclusion.

Being a short person, I often have trouble seeing over other people's heads, even under normal circumstances. Having people block my view unnecessarily was annoying, to say the least.

One of the ironies of these experiences is that, in my opinion, dog owners often seem to have a better grasp of social norms than many other people exhibit. 

At a concert that took place a few days before the restless child incident, I saw several people who had brought their dogs on leashes.

As far as I saw, the dogs were very well behaved, with their owners taking care that the animals were calm and obedient.

It was an interesting reversal of expectations that the dog owners were careful and responsible, while the parents were far less so.

Attending public events is a good way to participate in the community and to connect with people who might be from entirely different social circles or economic groups. 

Keeping these events pleasant and enjoyable by following social norms is important for building and maintaining these bonds.

As far as concert etiquette at the Assiniboine Park events is concerned, learning how to behave in public can never come too soon.

This column is part of  CBC's Opinion section. For more information about this section, please read this editor's blog and our FAQ.

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