'I lived in fear': One Newfoundland woman's story of escaping domestic violence

For nearly 20 years, Becky thought she would never get out of her violent home. Her husband wouldn't let her.

Fear for her safety and a desire to shelter her child from the abuse kept Becky from telling friends and family about her life behind closed doors.

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"He showed signs over the years of what he would do if I ever exposed [the abuse] and the fear just built over and over the years," Becky told CBC News, hands clasped tightly together.

"Until towards the end when the fear took over and I was absolutely scared to death even more so to tell somebody. He made it clear that if I did tell somebody, there would be hell to pay."

CBC has agreed not to use Becky's real name.

'You don't realize the craziness you're living in' 

For years, Becky fought with those close to her to prove her husband was a good man, losing friendships along the way. 

From the outside, they appeared to be a happy, middle-class family. 

But she was under strict orders not to socialize, and was constantly walking on egg shells.

I thought I was going to be killed when I walked out because there was no one to protect me when I walked out.- Becky, survivor of domestic abuse

"The verbal abuse was the worst over the years. I mean physically you can heal from," said Becky.

"I was warned that I would never, ever get out of the relationship."

He wouldn't leave either.

"It was made quite clear to me that he wouldn't leave me even though I begged him to leave me and basically just go out and go with someone else," she said.

As the years passed, the fear grew. Becky tried to keep the peace, and covered up any evidence of a violent relationship from their child. She was convinced she would be living that life forever.

"You don't realize the craziness you're living in until those kinds of things happen and then the next day rolls around and you try to make light of it because, you know, you're stuck and you can't leave."

Life-changing step

Vowing to remove her child from the situation, Becky said she took what she describes as a "life-changing" step and refused to continue in the marriage. 

She began talking to her friends, who eventually convinced her to go to to the Royal Newfoundland Constabulary.

Becky said her husband continued to threaten her life and the lives of those close to her if she contacted police.

In the end, it was the constant threats that saved her — it gave Becky the evidence she needed for the RNC to lay charges.

Her husband has since been convicted and jailed for the abuse, but not before Becky discovered there were gaps in the system for victims trying to leave their abusive homes.

Part two of Becky's story will be available at cbc.ca/nl on Wednesday.