Burnout is high, sick leave is low: Can changes in workplaces help parents?
Relentless rounds of illnesses are causing children to miss daycare and parents to miss work
You know who is really hard to schedule an on-camera interview with? Busy, working moms. It's because they're just that — busy and working — but it's also because their kids keep getting sick, which usually means they get sick too.
Dozens of moms eagerly responded to a call-out on social media parenting groups to do interviews about the challenges of pandemic parenting, specifically the rounds of illnesses that are leading to missed daycare, missed work and hospital stays.
But when it came down to doing the interviews, they were repeatedly — and ironically — cancelled because of vomiting, fevers, coughs or a combination of all those seasonal symptoms.
When Olivia Laviolette is healthy enough to meet, she has limited time: a short window between work and daycare pickup.
So in a CBC vehicle in a parking lot, Olivia Laviolette describes how pandemic parenting is exhausting her and her leave bank at work.
"Well I've used all my family leave days, and I don't know exactly how many but I can count on one hand the number of [sick] days I have left for this year," says Laviolette.
"I'm stressed. I used to pride myself on never — I don't have a stressed bone in my body. I'm very relaxed, don't worry about much, if it's out of my control, it's out of my control. But with this, it's out of my control but it's so much out of my control, I feel like I'm suffocating. And you can't get away from it."
Olivia and her husband have used up nearly 30 leave days between them since September to deal with pneumonia, norovirus and high fevers, usually for their kids, not themselves.
Their daughter's positive COVID-19 test on Christmas Eve came with unusual relief — they could deal with the illness without having to take time off work.
Family responsibility leave up under pandemic
In general, workers in Canada with children take more family responsibility leave than workers without children.
Working moms with kids under the age of five — like Olivia Laviolette — take the most time off for family responsibility leave.
When the pandemic hit in 2020, women with children under the age of five saw their lost working days surge — from 4.7 days in 2019 to 9.2 in 2020. The amount of leave taken hasn't come back down to pre-pandemic levels.
Women with young children used 7.7 days of family responsibility leave days in 2021 and 7.7 days in 2022.
Olivia Laviolette suggests access to more family leave days would help.
"More time is the answer," says Laviolette.
Return to work stress
Recent illnesses at Shawna Walsh's house include two rounds of hand, foot and mouth disease — the second being "really bad" — RSV and an unexplainable full-body rash.
Walsh is currently on maternity leave, but is already worried about how quickly her allotted three family responsibility leave days will be used up once she returns to work.
"My oldest is in daycare and he brings home everything," she said.
Walsh and other moms on maternity leave organize play dates every two weeks. It's an opportunity for babies to socialize, but also for moms to de-stress.
Parental burnout
Jessica Cowan Royle, a clinical counselor at the Calm Place in St. John's, says more parents than ever are showing up at her office with parental burnout.
"There is a significant increase in parent burnout happening right now," says Cowan Royle.
"I hear that in parents' stories. But you see that in the research and in studies as well."
Cowan Royle acknowledges that parenting has always been hard, but says right now — after three years of a pandemic — it's particularly challenging and "different."
Parents experiencing burnout can experience physical signs like exhaustion, changes in sleep, aches and pains and emotional signs like irritability, low mood, and emotional detachment.
"For parents, there's been this experience of feeling like they just can't quite get it right," said Cowan Royle.
"Feeling like they're failing at home and having difficulty at work and having a hard time connecting with their children as well."
Rest and restoration is key to recovering from burnout, and Cowan Royle suggests parents experiencing burnout reach out for support from their health-care team, their family, and surprisingly, their workplace.
"If you're an employer, can you think about being able to offer more family leave, can you think about offering more sick leave … if that's not a possibility, how can you create more flexibility in parents' work days?" says Cowan Royle.
"Also just checking in and offering compassion, acknowledging how tough this season is for parents."
Unlimited paid leave
Mysa Smart Thermostats, a Newfoundland-based tech company, offers an unusual work policy: unlimited paid leave.
"We offer the flexibility to schedule your work around your life," says Jeremy Grimes, a recruiter with Mysa.
"We find that people are actually a lot more efficient when they can do it on their own time and when they have the time to sit and focus and they're not distracted."
Grimes says most employees take advantage of the "hybrid" work environment, and are more satisfied and productive at work because of it.
"You want to have happy employees. Happy employees are going to be willing to come to work, they're going to want to perform well, they're going to be willing to do their jobs even better than they have before."
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