Rod Churchill retires from coaching minor hockey 11 years after son's death
Giving away the old trainer's bag was a difficult decision for Rod Churchill. That bag, full of first aid supplies, "patched up" a lot of kids during Churchill's years coaching midget division in the St. John's Minor Hockey Association.
That bag) was Churchill's constant companion. It helped the volunteer coach tend to cuts and scrapes and help larger injuries like broken bones. But the bag also helped Churchill heal through his own pain—a pain that was far more significant.
On March 28, 2005 – an Easter Monday evening exactly 11 years ago – a hit-and-run driver knocked down 15-year-old Matthew Churchill, taking the life of Rod's only child.
Churchill was driving home from a midget game in Mount Pearl that night, when he came upon the crash scene.
Grief hits people differently, and everyone needs to deal with it on their own terms. For Rod, that sanctuary was the hockey rink, the place Matthew enjoyed so much. So, to the surprise of many, and with more than a few hushed conversations behind his back, Rod Churchill was back in the rink just two weeks after Matthew's death.
"I had to do it," Churchill said during an interview in his office at Altius Minerals last week, surrounded by photos of Matthew and the teams he's coached.
"That was the only thing that kept my sanity in those early days... It gave me a purpose. And it helped me take my mind off my troubles, albeit if only for a few minutes at a time. It helped me significantly."
'Something I had to do'
Churchill said he and his wife learned early on that "grief is a unique beast," and they had to do whatever they could to help themselves.
"For me it was hockey and volunteer work, involvement, participation," he said.
"There were some raised eyebrows when I went back to the rink after two weeks. But that was something I had to do. Most people learned pretty quickly that my involvement with hockey was helping me, moreso than me helping kids," he said.
"For the first two or three years [after Matthew's death], if I never had my hockey, I don't know where I would have been. Keep in mind I spent two years in court, which almost destroyed me. Hockey got me through it." [Robert Parsons was convicted of leaving the scene of an accident following an emotional trial.]
All the while the trainer's bag was there by Churchill's side, on the bench and at every game.
Passing on the bag
Churchill tried to walk away last year but only managed to get through September before returning. However, he's now given the bag to a co-worker's husband, who is embarking on his own coaching career.
"That to me was a token that I'm giving it up at the right time," he said.
"My trainer's bag I thought long and hard about. I've patched a lot of kids up over the years. It helped me a lot and maybe it will help this guy a lot with his kids, and the teams he coaches."
Hockey has helped patch that huge void in Churchill's life since that terrible night. He consciously chose to stay at the midget level, where Matthew had played the year before his death.
His return to the game was encouraged by Matthew's friend Greg Thorne, who was walking with him on Bauline Line Extension that night, as well as Jason Duggan and Andrew Carter, all of whom wanted their friend's dad behind the bench.
Thorne even helped Churchill coach after his own minor career ended.
Coaching more than just hockey
In the 11 years since Matthew's death, Churchill has coached hundreds of players. He says the lessons taught were more about life than just the sport.
"I like to think that a lot of the kids, the 15-17 year olds I've been coaching for the last 11 or 12 years, I'm hoping I'm teaching them something, not so much about hockey," he said, glancing at the hockey pictures.
"They're young adults now, getting ready to go out into the world now, so to speak. I hope I'm able to communicate something across to them, more so than how to stickhandle or how to shoot or how to play."
And while the hockey has helped with the healing, it has also left Churchill with many thoughts on who Matthew would be today had he lived. Watching his son's friends grow up and start careers and families allows Churchill's mind to wonder.
"You're always left wondering, what would Matthew be like? What would he be doing? Where would he be working? Would he be married? Would he have kids? [Those are] questions we will never have the answer to, unfortunately," he said, lowering his eyes momentarily.
But it's time to cut the minor hockey ties, he says.
His wife Desma has some weekend plans that have been on hold for quite a while.
"She's looking forward to it now," he said. "But when October gets here, I may be too crooked to look at, and she wishes me back at it!"
Don Power presents a sports report on the St. John's Morning Show every second week.