Millie's 'bittersweet' Christmas: For 26 years, Whitehorse woman spends holidays by hospice tree

Christmas is bittersweet for 84-year-old Millie Jones who, year in and year out, has sat next to a hospice Christmas tree each holiday season.

She started 26 years ago.

Millie says Christmas stirs thoughts and memories of her late husband.

"Christmas was a favourite time of my husband's," said Millie. "My husband had always sang in the choir."

But it was during this holiday season when tragedy hit her family, 31 years ago.

"He died cutting a Christmas tree. So Christmas is not the same since then," she said. "But we try, we all get together." 

Heather Jones was just 25 when her father died. Don Jones "fell in love with the area" when he came up to work in the Yukon, but ended up falling more for young Millie, said Heather.

"I was given his diary, and he was quite enamoured with my mother, passionately so," she said.

This time of year, my dad was like a little boy.- Heather Jones

"This time of year, my dad was like a little boy and he would go crazy at Christmas time with decorations," said Heather. "There are good many stories about my dad's ventures getting the tree."  

But in December of 1985, Don suffered a heart attack during his Christmas tree ritual. His funeral was on Christmas Eve that year. 

Millie sought help from Hospice Yukon ever since its conception in 1989 — a place where support is given to those who are terminally ill or grieving the loss of a loved one.

"My dad's death was very hard on her, so I'm glad she sought the support," said Heather. 

Lights of life

The tree that Millie sits by every Christmas season is always adorned with dangling red tags. These special ornaments are symbols of mourning for those in the Yukon who are thinking of their deceased fathers, aunts, wives, friends, children and pets.

The hospice's Lights of Life program is a long, established tradition in Whitehorse. For 26 years, the hospice sets up Christmas trees all over the city for people to hang the tags in memory of their loved ones.

"Christmas is a time of tradition and of coming together so of course, we... especially feel for those who were not able to be with us this time of year," said Debbie Higgins, project coordinator with Hospice Yukon.

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She explained that grieving and mourning have different meanings.

"Grief being all the emotions that we feel, and mourning is finding an expression for those feelings, and that's really how we heal from a loss."

Higgins said hanging a tag is a healthy way of mourning, "and to create a little space for the grief that you're feeling."

"It's a bit of a bittersweet thing," she said.

Conversations by the tree

Millie says many people have shared memories with her over the years as she sits by the tree.

"Well, sad stories, mostly. But still, it's healthy, I think, to talk about it," she said.

Millie says that it's "very important" for these Lights of Life trees to go up every year, especially for those who drop by yearly as a tradition.

This year was Heather's first year tree-sitting with her mom.

"It was very nice to do it on the anniversary of my dad's death," said Heather. 

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"We settled in, and she was commenting on how peaceful it felt to be there," said Heather. "I also noticed how she would reach out to people."

The last day to hang a tag on a Lights of Life tree is Thursday. Tree locations in Whitehorse are on the Hospice Yukon's website.