POINT/COUNTERPOINT: Bunnyhug vs. calling it anything else

Being from Saskatchewan, as more than half of Western Canada (and ⅞ of Calgary) is, it's pretty much common knowledge that our vernacular is at once terrifyingly weird and criminally sweet.

Anyone who spent time in Prince Albert in the 1990s will remember such eye-rollingly obscure phrases as "poor small hair you don't have then anyways," which means, in short, "you have big hair." Newfoundland has "stay where's yer to til I gets where's yer at" while Saskatchewan has "if you pass the quonset, you're hooped."

We have Vi-Co; the rest of the world has "chocolate milk." We have a "two-four"; the rest of the world has "a case of beer." 

And we have "bunnyhug."

But "bunnyhug" is more than local terminology. It's arguably a term the whole world should use for a hooded pullover sweatshirt with a pocket in the front. Here's why:

POINT: 'Bunnyhug' sounds pleasant

It's soft. It cuddles you in its fuzzy warm arms. Come on. Say it. There. You smiled, didn't you? You love it.

COUNTERPOINT: 'Hoodie' sounds like it's up to no good

It could be a hoodlum! A thug! You don't know.

And "hooded sweatshirt"? Oh for the love of — can you even hear yourself?

COUNTER-COUNTERPOINT: Kangaroo

If you absolutely cannot bring yourself to use the best descriptor for a hooded jacket with a front pocket, "kangaroo" is a good alternative.

POINT: Specificity

A bunnyhug is a specific thing. It cannot have a zip; it must have a hood and a front pocket; and it must be made of fleece. 

If you're the person wearing a bunnyhug to a fancy dress event and decide to check it, the attendants will know exactly who you are and will have no problems finding your outerwear.

COUNTERPOINT: Confusion

People outside of Saskatchewan won't know what you're talking about. What if you walk up to a fancy dress event coat check in British Columbia, ask for your bunnyhug and the attendant hands one of Victoria's infamous floppy-eared infestors? You'd be mortified.

POINT: Who doesn't like hug-offering bunnies?

COUNTERPOINT: Who likes sweater...ing?

POINT: 'Bunnyhug' means you're family

Everyone you say it to will know immediately and instinctively that you're from Saskatchewan, or that you have relatives in Saskatchewan, or that you're just super chill and cool like Saskatchewanians. You're family. Sit down, have some coffee and matrimonial squares and tell me how you're doing.

COUNTERPOINT: 'Hoodie' means you're just anyone

You could be from anywhere, man. You could be anyone. Nobody knows you; nobody recognizes you. Nobody knows your aunt's third cousin's neighbour's former teacher's husband. Who are you, really?

POINT: Bunnyhugs are hardcore

The garment was invented by Saskatchewan people who were sick of shivering during the eight months of the year when the weather isn't survivable without steely resolve and layers. They found some rabbits and cuddled up with them. These early bunnyhugs weren't ideal (scratches), and eventually they hit on the idea of using only the rabbit hides. So wearing a bunnyhug actually means you're a hardcore survivalist. When you say "bunnyhug," people know you've seen some stuff.

COUNTERPOINT: 'Bunnyhug' sounds lame

You've heard similar sentiments — that even uttering the word "bunnyhug" means you lose some kind of machismo points on the grand scale of stuff that makes you super tough.

This piece is intended as comedy.