Move over, speed dating: speed friending is emphasizing meaningful connections for adults

For people who feel like they need a friend right now but aren't sure where to go to find one, a group in Guelph organizes regular gatherings to help people find meaningful, platonic relationships. 

Georgia Huntley, 29, had connection in mind when she started the group Friends of Friends in Guelph, Ont. It started online in May last year and has since blossomed into an in-person friend-making group that hosts meet-ups in neutral, accessible spaces. 

"The speed friending concept came later," Huntley said. "It came from a need that I wanted to make intentional conversations in my life."

In fact, the entire brand was on hold for a few months until Huntley organized a clothing swap with friends at a yoga studio in Guelph. It reignited the idea of creating spaces where people could mingle. Through that advertising, it wasn't long before Brothers Brewing on Wyndham St. would reach out to her with a proposition to host a conversation style event in their space. 

Two events are happening this week at Brothers Brewing on Wyndham Street in Guelph. One on Thursday for people aged 20 to 30. And on Saturday for people in their 30s and 40s, also at Brothers Brewing.

"I said, 'Absolutely. I don't know what that is, I don't know how to do it, but I'll look up conversation style events,'" she said. 

Speed friending is born

From there, her style of speed friending was born: not speed dating, where people came to an event with the intention of finding a life partner, but an opportunity to meet new people in an environment free of stress and expectations. It's designed to have tables dedicated to certain themes or conversation starters that allow for multiple people to talk at once as opposed to meeting one-on-one. 

"We've been on our phones for so long, and we've been through a pandemic where we had to isolate, and we've grown accustomed to small dopamine hits of relationship activity," she said. 

"We really feel the effects of not having that socialization."

Huntley isn't alone in noticing the desire for connection. 

Melany Michaud, 22, wants to work in the auto-repair industry and, knowing it's a male-dominated field, thought there was no time like the present to broaden her network. 

"It was a little nerve-wracking going into it," Michaud said. "But I figured that everybody here is probably nervous because everybody here is meeting new people."

She's now been going consistently to events since July and revels in meeting new people, despite already having cultivated a fairly strong group of friends outside of work and school. 

"It's so fascinating. Even if it's just one night, and you never talk to that person again, it's just so interesting to hear another human being in their life," she said. 

Huntley said that as we get older, our lives tend to be less constructed around the opportunity to be social. Beyond the social circulation of work or specific hobbies, she said there isn't much time to dedicate to simply meeting people who may be interested in talking. 

She said that it also has the potential for love, but no real focus on it.

"I always get asked if I'm going to do speed dating events, and to that I say no, because what is beautiful about coming together for friend making is that it creates a basis for a relationship if you so choose… there's no stress," she said. 

The importance of local connections

Bryan Myers moved to Guelph over the summer for his work as a registered energy advisor. He said that following a divorce, he realized just how important it was to have local connections to lean on.

"I used to be a journalist, so a lot of my friends are in different cities, different provinces and different countries, but I had no one around me specifically," he said.

Through Friends of Friends events he's met people he can invite out on a whim for rock climbing, jam sessions and book clubs. 

"It's building a bunch of stuff that I'm actually interested in, enriching my life and giving me people to lean on and a network to build out a much more full life," he said. 

He said he noticed that men especially may have difficulty maintaining friendships as time moves forward. 

"It can be very lonely if you rely on your partner to be your friend or to help you connect with friends, so having spaces where you can build up friendships on your own is very important, I think," he said. 

Huntley is now looking forward to the rise of friendship events in bigger cities and how she can expand her own brand. 

"Brothers [Brewing] is my home, but I'm trying to bring it to more people," she said. 

She's looking for new spaces that would accommodate at least 30 people in locations like Kitchener, Waterloo or Toronto. She's got accessibility on her mind and said that marketing to find the right locations that are willing to partner with her is the next step of the project. 

"If you don't do the work and put yourself out there, then you can't expect people to know about you. You have to be willing every day to tell someone and be that leader for yourself."